Wednesday, September 5, 2012

week 3


Labor Day weekend...
I got the green light to go home on Saturday afternoon and spend 2 nights, marking the first time sleeping in my bed in 3 weeks. This past week felt different. I entered with a fresh determination a re-focus which seemed pathetic to me that it was needed after only 2 weeks but when I left my kids last Sunday I found my inner monologue shouting, "you better make this worth it Milt, you better not be losing at the same rate you could have at home because your family deserves your BEST effort!" My leg felt confident taking more risks since my injury. I really tried (and succeeded) in keeping that anthem all week long. I caught myself:
  • Pushing hard in my workout
  • listening intently for my body to tell me when I was no longer hungry during meals
  • trying to keep things fun and positive for my roommates
  • deepening my trust with the professionals I am submitting to
  • taking time to lay myself aside and love on everyone
  • taking time to rest for myself
balance, balance, balance...above all swimming in gratitude toward God. More aware of this gift of life and the ability to dig deeper.
I had an additional motivation; to get past my wall. For as long as I can remember I have always had the same result no matter what vehicle I was using to lose weight, this wall, my wall, the 30 lbs. loss marker.
I've tried Fen Phen, Weight Watchers, Atkins, Personal Trainer, Calorie counting, etc.
and whether I became bored, hit a deadline (for a trip or event), got frustrated or whatever the reason; as soon as I lost 30 lbs I stopped and then gained it all back + more.
8 weeks prior to joining this program Laura and I were committing to change and fueled with the generosity of my mom offering to pay for me to join Weight Watchers. At the initial weigh-in I not only had my starting weight for this Documentary but the encouraging news that I had lost 23 lbs at WW. At the beginning of week 3 here I had lost 7 lbs. and faced with the reality the I was in the familiar face of my old rival -30 lbs.
In my initial meeting with Dr. Melina I discovered that although I was not the heaviest person in the house I am, by far, the unhealthiest with a 60.2% of body fat. I have had to battle some depression that attached itself to this news (regret of waisted years not involved in any physical activity) but it also made me the first (and currently the only) person in the house placed on a daily protein supplement. What this meant to me was I would be building muscle and that I must prepare myself for a slower rate of weight loss, even a week of losing 0 pounds.
In short: Push harder but don't expect your results on the scale. No problem. I did what I could and was rewarded at this mornings weigh-in with a 6 lb loss! Wow! looks like I get to bid farewell to my old burden of -30 as I currently sport a -36 lb milestone. I place that obstacle in the past along with a lot of baggage that it built over the years.
I was able to make 2 new recipes for my wife over the weekend. I made her a veggie spaghetti sauce with fresh Broccoli, Zucchini, Onions, and Mushrooms over an organic brown-rice penne pasta. I also made fresh Ceviche with Shrimp, Scallops, and Calamari. Yum!
Most Importantly! Today, for the first time in my life, I truly believe I am going to accomplish my goal and finally gain victory over this bondage of self-worthlessness and obesity! and THAT my friends is the gift of a life without limits, a life that I here and now fully dedicate to Jesus Christ and the will of His Father!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Babe, I feel the devil doesn't want me to encourage you. I have tried to post a comment 3 times. I want you to know that I love having access to this blog as your wife especially. Oh how I praise God for allowing us to be husband and wife! I can feel the importance of you doing this blog instantly as I read it. Randy is giving us an outside document. You are giving us the inside edition. The picture of the bruise was a wise addition. You should definitely keep pictures a part of this. It records successes and failures. You need failures to succeed. Apparently God is allowing a lot of physical opposition. First with the hammy and now with the foot. Also the body mass content. I had no idea you battled depression on that until I read it here. It's an absolutely expected reaction, but you didn't show it to me. I know more deeply now how much you do this: shield me from your true struggle. I know that Satan is ticked off at your progress. I know that your job is a downer and biggest losers biggest appeal is that you wouldn't have the 9 to 5. But I'll say it again "God chose this for us." He knows about your fat content and your foot and the seemingly unfruitfullness of your job at image source. Just commit with me this day to live today His way and allow Him to reveal the process and the result. I love that you call me your "best friend." It makes me blush like back in the day at Berean. Can't wait to see you tonight.